somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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