he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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