so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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