3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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