So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
