Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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