That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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