Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
