My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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