i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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