I showed him my bush... on skype.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
