you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
