I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
