love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
