Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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