Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
