I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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