its not stalking. its research.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
