you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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