I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
