you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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