I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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