So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
