Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
