I got chris browned last night
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
