Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
