y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize