Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
