I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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