I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize