Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
