Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
