think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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