He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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