I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
