You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize