I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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