Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
