all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize