i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
