I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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