her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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