I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
