I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
did i walk over a car last night?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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