We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
