dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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