having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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