Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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