Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
