How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
