Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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