I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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