Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
