You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
