The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
