I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
