I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
