:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
