he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
