Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
This is classic penis vs brain.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
