Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
