butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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