Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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