Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
as a side note pls kill me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize