It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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