We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
