You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
