In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
