But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
