She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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