is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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