Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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