I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
