M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize