Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
